The Fall and Decline of the Lego Empire
An in-depth historical study.
Many years ago in the corner of a small bedroom in the Midwest, there thrived a great civilization. The plasticene population of this miniaturized, influential nation formed a tiny utopian society with a teeny-weeny fluorishing economy and an itsy-bitsy, yet awe-inspiring military. Yet within a few years, this peewee civilization had all but vanished, its bantam infrastructure crumbling into diminuative ruins. The results of this decline are illustrated effectively in the following images.
Several of the remaining Lego people desperately attempt to turn to alcoholism.
Their lives bereft of meaning, some Legos have taken to simply sitting amidst the ruins and waiting to die.
The once-feared General Romulus is reduced to menial labor in service of a bourgeoisie Playmobil family.
So what happened to the Lego Empire? Historians will differ as always, but the general trend of opinion is that the decline was religious in nature. Every action and progression by the Lego people was centered around the concept of pleasing an entity named in many newly discovered Lego manuscripts as "TroĽ." This benevolent, supernatural being would supposedly manifest itself physically on a daily basis, aiding his chosen people in the construction of castles, ships, and many other odd structures which seem to have served no purpose at all. However, in at some point in ancient Lego history (archeologists estimate between 1992 and 1993 A.D.), the "TroĽ" being suddenly disappeared. With this sudden loss of central purpose, the Lego land languished lazily and largely lapsed into lackadaisical languor.
Attendance at religious services has fallen off sharply in the nearly eight-year absence of "TroĽ."
In what is generally agreed to be the low point in Lego history, several of the more impoverished and morally bankrupt Lego people are shown here eating a Triscuit.
Whither the Lego people at the Millenium? Only time will tell. But history suggests that either the great Lego Empire will soon make a fantastic comeback, or will be sold on the Internet for a mere fifteen dollars.